The Daily Show with Jon Stewart offered its take the homeland security grant controversy last night. You can watch the clip here.
So, if New York’s funding is being slashed, where is all the money going? Well apparently it’s being used to boost the defense budgets of terrorist hotspots like Charlotte, Louisville, and Omaha, Nebraska.
Apparently Homeland Security distributes the terror funds on the basis of what item your city has the world’s largest ball of.
…..Adding insult to injury, one of the reasons New York’s funding was cut, is that according to Homeland Security’s analysis of potential terror targets, the number of New York’s national icons and monuments is ZERO. We have zero national icons or monuments. In the report, this is true, the Brooklyn Bridge, the world’s first steel-wire suspension bridge, was classified merely as a quote, “bridge”. The Empire State Building is referred to simply as quote, “tall office building.” And as for the Statue of Liberty, the Department of Homeland Security has recently classified her as a “giant green water whore.”
Update (6/7): More humor, in a similar vein, from Andy Borowitz.