Homeland Security Watch

News and analysis of critical issues in homeland security

November 7, 2006

The liquid and gel lobby fights back

Filed under: Aviation Security,Humor — by Christian Beckner on November 7, 2006

The latest in homeland security-related humor, courtesy of Andy Borowitz:

Traveling Liquid and Gel Salespeople Protest FAA Rules

Angry Goo Sellers March on Washington

Two months after the Federal Aviation Administration instituted tough new restrictions on liquids and gels on all domestic flights, traveling liquid and gel salespeople marched on Washington en masse today to protest the FAA’s action.

The National Association of Traveling Liquid and Gel Salespeople, a group which represents over 150,000 of the nation’s itinerant goo sellers, organized today’s march, which began at the Capitol building and ended in front of the White House.

Carol Foyler, the executive director of the liquid and gel salespeople’s group, said that her association’s members were being “unfairly profiled” by the FAA and had every intention of making the “oppressive” regulations a key issue in next week’s midterm elections.

“Liquid and gel salespeople are what made this country great,” Ms. Foyler said. “America’s laborers built the railroad, but it was our moisturizers and hand creams that kept their skin supple and radiant.”

Perhaps true…but alas, they’re less powerful than the resealable quart-size plastic bag lobby…

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