Homeland Security Watch

News and analysis of critical issues in homeland security

December 18, 2009

Holidays and Homeland…

Filed under: Humor — by Jessica Herrera-Flanigan on December 18, 2009

On December 16th, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano gave remarks highlighting DHS’ Major Accomplishments in 2009.  Below is a very liberal summary/interpretation of the speech.  Have a great holiday. = JRHF

‘Twas the week before Christmas, when all through the House
Not a person was stirring, not even a spouse.
The recess was called by Pelosi with care,
In hopes that Denmark would be quick by the air.

The Senate was huddled and focused on meds
As visions of health care danced in their heads.
“Yes” Nelson was voting, the bill was a wrap
As the Hill buckled down for a cold winter snap.

When away from the Floor there arose such a clatter,
All sprang to their desks to see what was the matter.
As they got on the Net, they just could not wait,
Flipped over to Facebook to see the updates.

YouTube showed the mall with tourists all aglow
They were walking and talking of sites to forego
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But some Secret agents, with a piece in each ear,

With a new Secretary, so smart and intent.
I knew in a moment it must be Janet.
She was not by herself, her deputies came,
And she laughed and smiled as she called them by name:

Here’s Heyman! Here’s O’Toole, Here’s Fugate, and Morton!
See Allen, See Wiggins, see Rand Beers and Bersin!
Here we come from the NAC! To the top of St. E’s!
Now what a year! What a year! Don’t you agree?

As spring led to summer and hurricane season
DHS met obstacles with toughness and reason,
So up to the White House, the change has been coming
And homeland security is one thing that’s humming.”

She started explaining, for all the viewers
“The letters and hearings of our reviewers
Kept us all on our toes, on the Hill at all hours
We were wishing one Committee had all the powers.”

She was dressed all in pink, from her head to her foot,
And to her side was her second, Jane Hall Lute.
A binder of notes sat in front of the two
And we all just kept watching, until they were through.

The speech – how we twittered! Keeping up was a fright…
As she noted and quoted each thing DHS did right
She spoke of the year, and how things turned around,
“With “one DHS” we did build something sound…

We are strong and focused, from FEMA to border,
All in our efforts to keep civil order.”

She spoke of the progress, and what lies ahead,
Not a program’s merits was left unsaid.

“Progress- what success! Confront and defeat!
Securing the border is not a small feat!
Fusion centers improve information flow
Keeping states and localities in the know!

H1N1 we tackled with rapid response;
In the Gulf, I saw rebirth and a renaissance;
We started WHTI at ports of entry,
And of course, lets not forget Global Entry.

We took on the Drug Cartels down in Mexico,
Seized up the guns, the cash and the blow!”
A wink of her eye as she spoke of how hard
CIS has been working to distribute green cards.

Her words let me know I had nothing to dread;
As she spoke a little more about how DHS had led.
“The Coast Guard excelled at their missions,
But I must say – what to do with acquisitions?”

Her speech ended with the note “success belongs to us,
And I promise you that there will soon be more to assess.

And I heard her exclaim, as she walked out of sight,
“Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”

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1 Comment »

Comment by William R. Cumming

December 19, 2009 @ 1:50 am

Brilliant!

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