Homeland Security Watch

News and analysis of critical issues in homeland security

December 22, 2009

HR 8791 — Protecting Underground Birthing Centers from Flesh Eating [REDACTED]

Filed under: Humor — by Christopher Bellavita on December 22, 2009

A colleague brought HR 8791 (The Homeland Terrorism Preparedness Bill) to my attention last week.

Although the legislation was in play last year, much of the proposal still remains classified so as not to tip off state, local, tribal, private sector, or other stakeholders about the proposed federal response to [redacted].

However, thanks to America’s finest news source – The Onion – additional details about the proposed legislation are available.

You can watch the video of Representative John Haller, from Pennsylvania’s 12th District, outlining the bill to Congress by clicking on the picture below.  If you have trouble viewing the video, you can read Congressman Haller’s remarks, reprinted at the end of this post.

flesh-eating-blog

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Preliminary transcript of Representative Haller’s occasionally redacted remarks:

hr-8791-blog-pic

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[By the way, Happy Day-After-the-Winter-Solstice, if that’s one of the holidays you celebrate.]

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22 Comments »

Comment by William R. Cumming

December 22, 2009 @ 8:57 am

Winter Solstice celebrations always good and reminder that each day has more sunlight hours. Or minutes or whatever!

Thanks to this blog for casting more sunlight on some dark shadowy areas of concern to US!

Comment by Seymour Butts

December 22, 2009 @ 7:22 pm

Fortunately, the TSA redaction method was used. I think we all agree that defending against flesh-eating space aliens is in the national interest. A recent HLS panel estimated that the probability of a space alien attack is greater than 50% by 2017.

Building systems that don’t work to meet threats that don’t exist. HLS stimulus in action.

Comment by christopher tingus

December 24, 2009 @ 12:12 am

What nonsense….

Get a grip on the world scene for quickly we are becoming impoverished and enslaved as the partisan politics and the continued printing of fiat dollars pushes in the abyss of bankruptcy, third world status!

2017? We here on Main Street are living in reality as 2010 approaches within hours and the displeasures and whispers in the pews are becoming more and louder with more and more concern for actions of entrusted elected public servants than for the disharmony Afghans have for neighbor and the stone walls that divide them. They hVE hn

Comment by christopher tingus

December 24, 2009 @ 12:23 am

What nonsense….how absurd….

Get a grip on the world scene for quickly we are becoming impoverished and enslaved as the partisan politics and the continued printing of fiat dollars pushes in the abyss of bankruptcy, third world status!

2017?

We here on Main Street are living in reality as 2010 approaches within hours and the displeasures and whispers in the pews are becoming more and louder with more and more concern for actions of entrusted elected public servants than for the disharmony Afghans have for neighbor and the stone walls that divide them and their centuries of dispute will continue despite our efforts….

Let’s find someone who like Churchill has the vision to see the world as it is, the disharmony and the dastardly intent of so many and send clear and decisive message….My Great Grandfather was a shepard and he had more wisdom and would not tolerate any who threatened his good sheep….Unlike the people of Europe during the 20’s, 30’s and 40’s, we here on Main Street USA are not sheep and will not be herded as some intend….Let no one here on the soil of this Judeo-Christian nation – yet you Pelosi and Barney Frank and well as Reid among others – belive for one moment that your arrogant and derogatory demeanor to the American family will be tolerated for much longer….elections are near and we are tired of flip flopp’n Massachusetts Senatorial candidates that blatently lie and such portrayal of politican is what the voter is becoming less and less tolerant….

God Bless America!

Such an adoption of bill again depicts the lack of transparency and the disregard for our great nation and most charitable people –

Christopher Tingus
Main Street USA
Harwich, MA USA 02645
chris.tingus@gmail.com

Comment by essays purchase

June 2, 2010 @ 3:40 pm

Who works for who? Are we the people not the boss of this man and his ilk? Why are things classified? Is it to protect “we the people”?
Classified doesn’t fly in my book. I am sick of these public officials who no longer represent the people. It’s so blatantly obvious that Republican and Democrat are essentially the same exact thing, neither of which has our interest in mind. When are more people gonna open their eyes? When are we gonna take back this country?

Comment by Tanya

November 28, 2010 @ 6:17 pm

Look i get that there are idiots out there who are not believing the warnings that we are getting and by the time they do it will be too late (and trust me no sympathy will go out to those who end up tortured and imprisoned/shot/raped because they are fuck faces who just cant believe the fucked up world we live in is capable of history repeating itself) but if you dont believe this stuff, then get the fuck off the websites, stop looking the shit up and stop wasting your time and everyone else…you should be enjoying what little free life you have left. Just remember all of those who dont believe…when you’re begging to be killed because there are some fates worse than death, there will be people like me and my family who are taking these warnings and doing something about it who will be laughing at the sheeple like you who get exactly what you deserve in the end. to be treated like nothing more than cattle in a slaughter house.

Comment by Jerry Caruthers

December 29, 2010 @ 3:31 pm

Passing legistaltion which cannot be read by those who vote on it should make it automatically null and void.
When Nancy Pelosi(D-California) said that we need to pass Obama care to see what was in it, she should have been sent home. Whethere a bill is a good bill or a bad bill, is not the point. Politics aside, Republicans and Democrates alike, are not representing the will of the people who sent them to Washington.
Laughing at the Tea Party and denying their sanity, ahs made them stronger and I fear that eventually the Government will find it necessary to declare Martial Law only to “Control” the peole who had sent them to Washingotn to do the “right thing?” Not my comment, but that of our leaders who are unafraid and who are speaking out!

Comment by idontwannadie

January 23, 2011 @ 1:31 am

in fact it look like they already trained us (civillian), to containement and combat of (classified). Ave you notice how many movie and videogame are about infected by (classified) flesh eating how are relesse or become uncontrolable in urban area . Far surpassing our DARKEST NIGHTMARES ?!

Comment by Jeff

February 23, 2011 @ 8:38 am

This bill obviously did what it was suppose to do to the sheep,and the comments i see here thusfar prove your all sheep no matter how “smart” or “political” you try and make yourself sound. This documents just coincides with the New World Order and all other actual, factual, real and filed documents pertaining to how the government reserves the right to and plans to chip our society with an RFID chip produced by the company “Impinj” starting late this year as a mandatory part of being a citizen (most believe it will be in a vaccination, that is still to see obviously) and follow up with a depletion of all recources thus initiating a “Security Threat Action” as it is officially called during a time of national riots over food-(recent bill s510 passed illegal to grow your own food), electricity, communications and even the internet which also has an official date set to shut off tagged with the name “internet kill switch”(this can be searched and found as true) this would all be considered a time of deemable action(a.k.a national security threat) for martial law within a police state union. upon this police state union we have 7 sections of the u.s (already documented fact and planned) that will be governed by 7 government chosen officials, these officials given they’re ties and nature known by true investigators like myself will follow through the course of action and plans by declaring martial law in each section-(Official government Document “Rex84” and the official declassified plan layout for this time called “ATRMP”) FEMA housing camps will immediately open up-(Official Government Document “Garden Plot”) and foreign military along with any willing american military and national guard will come in-(“Millenium Declaration” signed by Clinton dropping all national boundaries and now further backed by obama’s new “america canada border merge”)round up everyone they can possibly find and contain them in these prison camps called FEMA camps or Official classified as “Residential Centers”.All these centers are guarded by double razor wire fencing with armed guards and surrounded by train tracks and halliburton trains (All fact and can be searched) Those who manage to escape being killed or rallied will be stuck behind a series of containment walls themselves due to the 7 sectioned states of the country they can not pass and will either die from starvation or be found and killed or taken to a containment camp.All important government icons and wealthy civilians or any person deemed necessary for the New World Order way of life will be rounded up and taken to underground containment or “birthing” centers for protection and survival until the “national security threat” is over, in the meantime eventually the government will start testing on human subjects with biological and chemical testing agents-(bill s.1520a allows so) for the New World Order way of life (most likely a new military of super elite soldiers) where our government hopes to continue and master its already worked on plans over mind control,the use of drugs to control ones mind/body, the creation of a 100% flawless soldier/civilian who does not possess the ability to question or stray from the governments control. this has yet to happen of course in most places here in the u.s so as to the effects or results of these test’s are not known. But the government has well prepared themselves for it (as you can now hopefully see for yourself ) by having a bill like this one that allows them to pretty much bomb america off the face of the planet when they turn us all into mindless zombie like super human killers, this isn’t to say they plan on just letting us run around zombied out but they know their is in fact a chance they could lose control like a damn resident evil game so theyve already placed bills like this one and others in effect to cover up they’re own ass’s in that time from scrutiny of the rest of the world (so as they have a safe spot to live when its all said and done over in china or russia)

Comment by Jeff

February 23, 2011 @ 8:48 am

though i will say this video is just a hoax, do not be be fooled by videos as these but remember all of what i stated above you can search and find for yourself the official docs and piece together the puzzle and see how easily a domino effect of documents and bills have been set up allowing for a crisis likke this to happen.

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