HR 8791 — Protecting Underground Birthing Centers from Flesh Eating [REDACTED]
A colleague brought HR 8791 (The Homeland Terrorism Preparedness Bill) to my attention last week.
Although the legislation was in play last year, much of the proposal still remains classified so as not to tip off state, local, tribal, private sector, or other stakeholders about the proposed federal response to [redacted].
However, thanks to America’s finest news source – The Onion – additional details about the proposed legislation are available.
You can watch the video of Representative John Haller, from Pennsylvania’s 12th District, outlining the bill to Congress by clicking on the picture below. If you have trouble viewing the video, you can read Congressman Haller’s remarks, reprinted at the end of this post.
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Preliminary transcript of Representative Haller’s occasionally redacted remarks:

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[By the way, Happy Day-After-the-Winter-Solstice, if that's one of the holidays you celebrate.]








